At 13 you can’t wait until you’re 16, so you can drive. At 16, you’re anticipating 18…maybe you’d like to buy cigarettes, or to vote…to each his own. At 18, you’re waiting for the big 21st. I think we can agree this is the birthday kids look forward to the most. At 21 you hit a weird state of being. It’s like THIS ROCKS…I can buy booze, I’m still young, I’m hot, I don’t have a lot of responsibilities. This is life. Even for the next few years, I think most people tend to feel like they’re still 21. While jammin to T. Swift that you’re feelin’ 22, realistically, you feel the same – great. At 23 you joke with Blink 182 that nobody likes you…but you know that’s not true.
Then 24 happens. Yeah, that’s when things change. 24 rolls around and life happens. Why is this happening? Why do I feel this way? You will ask yourself a series of questions contemplating how you got to this point. Then you’ll realize you’re officially having a quarter life crisis. With this past Tuesday being my 25th birthday, I feel as though this post is particularly suiting. I’m totes feeling the quarter life crisis.
If you’re a current millennial, here are some of the warning signs that you might be hitting your quarter life crisis:
You’re broke as f*ck.
Entry level salary, student loan bills, paying for real life things that adult-humans need to live… it hits you like a ton of bricks.
While most of your friends are also poor AF, there are still the lone few that have their financial shit together and you’re just like…
The phrase “student loans” makes you cringe, cry or self destruct.
This is when you really start asking yourself the “why” questions. Why did I go to college? Why is college so expensive? Why did I get a degree in anthropology? (Also, what the fuck is anthropology?). Oh and speaking of college…
You can’t drink like you used to.
Did you used to throw back half a case of Bud Light while participating in “Beer Olympics” with you friends? News flash. You can’t now. How does that even happen? There’s a solid chance that you used to be able to drink alcohol like water, and now you’re buzzin’ real hard after two adult beverages.
And if you try to drink like you used to…
Hangovers are terrifying.
Sleeping in until noon, eating greasy fast food and pounding a Gatorade no longer does the trick. You will feel incapacitated for several hours, if not several days. Yes. 2 day hangovers are now a real thing. Thinking about going out Friday and Saturday? Think twice and just go to bed. You know that if you go out, again, you will tell yourself ALL day Sunday that you’re never drinking again (which will never happen). Plus, even if you’re not feeling like death, you’re still way more disgusting than you used to be hungover…
Bedtime is after Jeopardy.
If you’re anything like me, you enjoy a rousing game of Jeopardy, then doze off to whatever’s on HGTV. But really, it could be anything…trashy reality tv, documentaries on the History Channel, or your new binge show on Netflix. Regardless, you watch “your shows”, then it’s time to go to sleep. And the thing is…you’re okay with it.
You become friends with your parents.
You no longer feel the same disconnect, or even embarrassment in some cases, that you used to feel about your parents. They turn into real people that you can actually talk about real-life things with. You can go to them for advice, or when you need to talk about what’s going on in your relationship or career. It’s like they just get you and you get them.
You just don’t look the same.
You feel like you might have peaked in your early 20’s and that thought is causing despair. Things aren’t the same as they used to, and you’re unsure if it’d for the better or worse. You aren’t sure if you should embrace your inner 21 party girl, or get your shit together and adult for a while.
You also don’t feel the same.
Mentally or physically. Real life stress sets in and your mental state of mind is in shambles at times. You feel like a basket-case sometimes, while other times you’re sitting on cloud nine. It’s exhausting. Also, physically you’re like wtf happened to me? You can’t eat a cupcake without making your thighs closer friends than they already were. Workout soreness lasts until days after you actually give up working out.
You question everything.
Or you question nothing. Or maybe you’re questioning why you don’t have more questions about things, because you should since you’re confused AF about almost everything. But mostly you just ponder everything.
You have career ADD.
This goes along with questioning everything. You wonder if you’re on the right career track, and contemplate what kind of changes you’d consider making. Maybe it’s a switch it roles, or industry – maybe you’re a firefighter who wants to be an astronaut, idk.
You contemplate going back to school.
This goes along with having career ADD. If you’re one who is contemplating if you’re in the right field of work, you might also be thinking about going back to school for your other options. Then you think about student loans, and you’re like…
Relationships are hit or miss.
There are so many categories or titles. Single. Talking. Tinder talking. Dealing with a fuckboy. Seeing each other. Dating (went on a date, but not bf/gf). Casually dating. Together-ish. Kind of a thing. Dating. Seriously dating. Tied down. How do you actually figure it out? I really don’t know how to answer that.
Your friends are reproducing.
Like actually bringing other lives into this world. Little humans that they have to clean and feed and protect and house and clothe. You can’t leave them alone for very long, and they cry a lot. Their poop stinks and they barf on everything. Meanwhile, I can barely take care of myself and enjoy the occasional weekend bender. Your friends with kids aren’t necessarily saying it, but they’re thinking it…
Whatever. They’re just jealous.
But then, you start to hear your clock ticking.
Since my friends are starting to have babies, should I? Should I at least be thinking about it? How does one think about that when I can barely maintain a relationship with myself, let alone another human which I’d like to reproduce with? This is actually ludicrous.
You have a blender on your Christmas list.
It’s time to start thinking about real life needs instead of frivolous wants…sometimes at least. This year I realized I was getting old when the #1 item on my Christmas list was a new blender. This is adulthood.
30 isn’t a decade away.
30 just seems really far from 20. Then once you hit 25 it’s like holy shit 30 is right around the corner and I am not prepared for this shit. You have a moment of self reflection.
You think about shit like healthcare and retirement.
WHY? I like thinking about the new sneakers I want to buy, or how I like to go to Chipotle 3-6 times per week, or how many bottles of wine I need to buy this week. Now you’re telling me I have to start investing that money in my future and wellbeing? No thanks!
You say things like, “kids these days…”
You never think you’re going to do this, but you will. You see a little brat screaming over who gets to play with the iPad and you say “Kids these days”, or substitute, “Back when we were kids we would never/always…”, “The world nowadays…” *shaking head*
You want to see the world.
There are so many places and you make a list, but then you literally don’t even know where to start, and you realize you’re also broke to then you start to make a list of ways you can make money to save up for all of this world travel, then you’re like shit, I want to go shopping, and you buy 17 things you don’t need and then you’re back to square one and just wish you had money to travel and decide you’re doing to sell all your things. Never. Ending. Cycle.
But you also don’t want to get out of bed.
You have 7 billion things you could be doing at any given moment to better your mind, body, soul, career, bank account, moral well-being – but instead you’d just really like to lay in bed. Maybe Netflix & Chill. Order in Chinese. Motivation levels fluctuate from like -27 to ? … like you really never know how you’re going to feel.
You don’t know who to identify with.
You want to identify with two groups: Young, fun, carefree children between 18 and 23 AND mature, confident, independent adults ages 28-33. But you literally feel like both of them and neither of them at the same time and it’s confusing as fuck. You identity is left in the lost and found.
“What are you up to these days?” isn’t as interesting to answer.
Your response used to be, “Starting college at {{school name}}. Gunna major in {{major}}, can’t wait! Spring break {{location}}! Working at {{place}} and {{place}} part time, parting with my friends. Looking forward to {{event}}!
Now it’s like… “Oh ya know, just working…”
Somedays you want to chug a beer, other days you want to cry.
But usually it’s both.
You’re scared and nervous.
You could really fuck shit up. Some of the decisions you have to make now will affect your life a lot more than when you had to decide who to go to prom with, or what college to go to, or whether or not to go out Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
But you’re also excited.
You also realize all of this “scary”, nerve-racking, serious adult shit is just a part of life. We all go through it. We all have moments of doubt. We all need help sometimes. We all fuck up. But it’s okay.
If you can recall Bryan Adams, Summer of ’69 lyrics, you’d know that he was singing for you! “Those were the best days of my life”. And if you can’t recall, seriously go listen to it…
What are your quarter life crisis symptoms?
Love Always, Brook ❤
Basic Brook 